Stryker's Salvation (A Savage Saints MC Book 3) Page 6

  “Sorry,” I apologize, trying to get away from him.

  “What are you sorry for?” Stryker asks confused.

  I try to think of the reason why I’m sorry, but nothing comes to mind. “I don’t know. It’s the proper thing to say?” I ask instead of state.

  “Quit apologizing for something that wasn’t your fault,” Stryker growls.

  “I’m sorry,” I repeat and clamp my hands over my mouth. Shit, it’s an automatic response from me.

  “Listen and listen good. I don’t ever want you to apologize to anyone ever again. Nothing is your fault.” Stryker settles his hands on my cheeks.

  “But…” I trail off.

  “No but’s. If I fucking hear you apologize to anyone again, I will bend you over my knee and spank that tight little ass so fucking hard, you’ll feel me for days.” His warning shoots straight to my core and I shiver. I fucking shiver.

  Stryker picks up on it, his eyes hooded with lust. “You’d like that wouldn’t you, Lil’ Bit?” Before I can say anything his lips are on mine, warm and inviting. His rough tongue runs along the seam of my lips and I open them. His strong hands wrap around my ass, giving it a squeeze as his tongue plunges inside my mouth. His taste fills my senses and I can’t get enough. A whimper escapes my throat and Stryker growls. His free hand climbs under my towel to my aching core. He glides one finger over my clit driving me insane with need.

  “Please,” I beg breaking the kiss.

  “Please what, Lil’ Bit?” Stryker teases my pussy with his rough fingers while his mouth covers mine again. Desire pooling between my trembling legs from his touch.

  “Touch me,” I whisper.

  Stryker’s eyes widen in surprise before he captures my lips again. Biting and nipping. His fingers roam over the spot where I need him the most. I buck my hips into his hand, making his fingers brush my core.

  “Holy fuck, Lil’ Bit. You’re soaking wet.” Stryker pants against my neck.

  I buck my hips again when his fingers brush my clit. A moan escapes my lips when his fingers trail down to my opening, plunging inside. My walls tighten up on his digits as they pump in and out at a fast pace. My belly clenches and I’m right on a verge of an intense orgasm.

  “That’s it. Fuck my fingers like you want my cock, Lil’ Bit.” Stryker groans, licking and sucking on my neck. His fingers pump in and out, his thumb brushes against my clit and my body convulses. My pussy squeezes his fingers hard when I reach my peak. Stryker continues to plunge two fingers inside of me, letting me ride the wave of pleasure.

  Once I come back down, my face burns with embarrassment. I’ve never done that before. Does Stryker expect me to return the favor? Am I supposed to fall to my knees and suck his cock like I’ve been forced to before? My face must portray what’s running through my mind because Stryker gently kisses my lips and removes his hand. He pulls me against his body. I can feel how hard he is against the thin fabric of my towel.

  “I’m not going to force you to do something you’re not comfortable with,” Stryker whispers against my lips. “When you’re ready, you let me know.” With one more soft kiss to my lips, Stryker walks out of my room.

  “Stryker, wait.” I stop his retreating form. He turns around to look at me, the lust and hunger evident in his eyes. “Thank you. No one’s ever been gentle or sweet to me. Don’t go. Just give me a few minutes to get dressed. We need to talk.” I have to move past my insecurities and abuse. And I want to start with him.

  Stryker comes back into my room and closes the door behind him. He leans up against it, tracking me with his blue eyes. It feels ten times smaller with his big body crowding my small space, but it’s a good kind of smaller.

  In my heart I know I can trust him with what I’m revealing. I grab a pair of shorts, underwear and a tank top off my dresser and quickly change. It doesn’t bother me that he’s in here while I’m naked and that says a lot of my perspective of him. I’ve never willingly changed in front of another man. They have forced me to do things I didn’t want to do and Stryker is about to get a detailed version of my life before I came here.

  I release my hair from my ponytail and take a seat on the bed. Stryker remains by the door, watching me, waiting for what I have to say. I cast my eyes down onto the plush carpet and dig my bare feet into it. “Please, take a seat. This is a long story and when I’m finished you’re not going to be happy. But you have to promise me it doesn’t go past this room. You won’t repeat it until I tell you that you can.” I bring my eyes up from the carpet and look into his sapphire ones. Stryker moves from the doorway and sits down next to me on the bed, not breaking contact. I inhale a deep breath and begin.

  *****

  I don’t understand what’s happening. My mommy was gone for a while this time and when she came back a big scary guy wearing a leather vest followed her into our tiny apartment. The scary look he’s giving me, makes my skin crawl.

  “Holly, baby this is Crawl. He’s mommy’s new friend. Can you come to say hi to him?” There’s a slight tremble in my mommy’s voice. I look up at her and her eyes are red from crying. I’ve seen her cry when she told me daddy died and she couldn’t deal with it. I can’t remember much of my daddy or things before we came here.

  “Hi, Crawl,” my voice comes out tiny, not as a strong nine-year old’s should be.

  He smiles at me and crouches down so he’s eye level. His breath smells horrible and his black eyes frighten me. But I do my best not to show him I’m scared. “Hi, Holly. Your mommy and you are going on a little adventure. Would you like that?”

  Crawl runs a finger down my cheek and my mommy swats his hand away. “No, she’s off-limits.”

  Crawl stands up to his full height towering over both of us and my mommy shrinks back. “For now. Pack a bag for both of you. You won’t be coming back.” He turns on his big boots and stands in front of the door. My mommy looks around the apartment for something but Crawl shakes his head. She stops looking and pulls me behind her into my room.

  “Listen, baby, we’re going on a trip. That man out there is kind enough to take us somewhere that we’ll be safe. Pack what you need and nothing else. I love you and I’m so sorry.” She pushes my wild curly hair away from my face and kisses my forehead. Fat tears land on my skin.

  “Are you OK, mommy? I don’t like that man.” I whisper.

  “Yes, baby. I’m fine. Now don’t voice those thoughts aloud, OK. I don’t want you to get hurt and if you tell him that, he might hurt you.” Her voice is shaking with fear when she turns around to make sure Crawl isn’t standing in the door.

  “Mommy,” I whisper. “If he’s going to hurt me, why do we have to go?” I’m so confused and scared. I know I don’t want to go with this man but I’m afraid I’ll have no choice.

  “Because baby, mommy needed help and Crawl gave it to me. Now be a big girl, pack a bag and don’t say a word to anyone.” She kisses me one last time on the forehead and goes into her room. I can hear her moving things around and I hurry, throwing clothes into a big bag. I grab the stuffed puppy dog my daddy gave me before he died and shoved it into the bottom of the bag so Crawl can’t find it.

  Once I’m finished, I hurry out of my room, dragging my bag with me. Mommy’s in her room and the door is shut. Crawl isn’t standing next to the door when I set my bag down. I hear a muffled cry and a loud slap.

  “Bitch, don’t even think about it.” My mommy sobs harder and I try to open her bedroom door. It’s lock so I pound on it with my fists.

  “Open up. Mommy are you OK?” I knock on the door more. “Mommy! Answer me!”

  There’s a loud thump coming from the other side and suddenly the door is yanked open. Crawl grabs my arm hard. He drags me into the room. My mom is lying on the floor, blood covers her face. She’s not moving and I can’t see the rise and fall of her chest.

  “Is she?” I can’t even finish the question.

  “I don’t fucking care. You’re the one we were promised years ago. Not t
hat vile bitch,” Crawl growls, dragging me out of her room. I kick and scream, fighting with everything I have. “Stop it or you’ll end up like her.” Crawl growls, shaking me. I stop fighting when he throws me down onto the floor and I hit my head with a thud. My vision blurs and before I can get away, I pass out.

  *****

  I inhale a deep breath and wipe the tears streaming down my face. Stryker has his arms wrapped around me. His warm body pressed against mine reminds me that I’m not alone anymore. I sneak a glance up at him. His eyes are closed and his breathing is ragged. Once I stop talking he opens his eyes and looks down at me. What I see in his sapphire depth takes my breath away. He isn’t judging me nor is he looking at me with pity. Brushing his fingers across my shoulders sends a shiver down my spine.

  “Is there more?” Stryker’s deep voice comforts me.

  “Yes, but I don’t know if I can tell you right now. With everything I’ve been through it’s hard for me to open up. I’ve kept this secret for so long, I’m afraid if I tell you, you’ll run away. Those I’ve trusted in the past only used me for things they wanted and didn’t give a shit about what I wanted or needed.” I rest my hand on Stryker’s cheek, his stubble scratches my skin creating a want of desire deep in my core. I have to keep going. Staring into Stryker’s blue eyes gives me the strength I need.

  “I’m not going anywhere. You’ve helped me and didn’t even know it. You’re my sunshine in a world of darkness, Holly. No matter what you say next won’t scare me away. Without you near me I lose my mind. You’re the only one that keeps the evil living in my head away. You make me want to be a better man.” Stryker’s confession gives me the strength to keep going.

  “Ok, I’ll tell you more, but have patience with me. First, I have to show you something.” I stand up from the bed, leaving his warm embrace and walk over to my dresser. I open the top drawer and pull out the razor blade I have tucked in a box. I move back over to him and hand it to him. He takes it from the palm of my hand. Questions appear in his eyes.

  “After Crawl took me from my mother, I ended up in a bad place. He took me to an MC called The Serpents based out of Ohio. That’s where I’m originally from. They were mean and nasty and my little nine-year-old self didn’t know what to do or how to deal with it. They did drugs all the time, drank, smoked and fucked out in the open. Not caring I’ve never seen that before. Some of the Ol’ Ladies took pity on me and tried to shield me from most of it, but when I hit puberty, they couldn’t keep the bikers away. The whores tried to turn me into one of them, but I learned enough from the Ol’ Ladies that the whores that hung around only wanted me to get the attention of the bikers and use me to get to them.

  “When I was sixteen, I hit rock bottom. The Ol’ Ladies stopped coming to the clubhouse as much and the whores ran the place. One night I was hiding in my room when they came in and held me down. They held my mouth closed and forced me to inhale the crack they had. My head was swimming and my mind was going a million miles an hour. I thought I would crawl out of my skin. I had no clue what was going on and had no control over my body or mind. The whores thought it was funny and the bikers that were there took full advantage. Most of The Serpents were gone on a run so there was only four of them. But that was enough to do what they did.

  “They held me down. I didn’t want them touching me so I fought with everything I had. One biker named Sledge had his sights set on me for a long time and saw his opportunity to take what he wanted. After that night, I became his property. I wasn’t an Ol’ Lady, but his Property. He’d drug me up every day and use my body for his own selfish needs. On the days he was gone, I’d hide from everyone in the clubhouse. I was losing my mind. I was used and abused for years.

  “After enduring Sledge’s abuse for a few years, my mind was screaming at me to find a way to deal with the pain, the torture, the insecurities from the whores. They’d tell me I was too fat, too ugly, too loose. I was a washed-up whore just like them. Their teasing and taunting drove me over the edge. I found a razor blade and without thinking, I made the first cut. The pain was like no other. It set me free from all my problems. It gave me a high no drug could touch. I had control over this pain. One slice at a time, I gained control back. I faked getting high, I faked being compliant when he’d take what he wanted. I was slowly taking back control. When he used my body, my mind would drift away to that first cut, that first slice of my skin. That’s how I kept my sanity those dreadful years. When he forced me to do things to him and his brothers or the other whores, my mind would wander to each time the small blade touched my skin.

  “I endured his abuse for four years. On the last night I was in The Serpents Clubhouse, Sledge came at me. He was vicious and almost killed me. He brought a knife to my stomach and threatened to gut me like the pig I am if I didn’t get on my knees and suck him off while his brother did what he wanted to me. One of the Ol’ Ladies were there and saw everything. From the way he came at me, tried to take what he wanted and when I fought him off. It was the first time I ever laid a hand on him. Her being there and me deciding to fight for myself is what saved my life. She interfered and got me out of there. I was bleeding all over the place. Sledge broke my nose, fractured my wrist from his hold, and he cracked my ribs. She got me into her car and drove me away from there as far as she could.

  “We drove for hours, not saying a word. I was so grateful to her but I couldn’t voice it. I was afraid if I spoke, she’d take me back. So I stayed quiet the entire ride. Once we got to a little town near the Michigan border, she pulled over. She gave me some money and told me to never return to Ohio. Since they considered me their property, The Serpents will keep looking for me and won’t stop until they find me again. I got out of her car and for the first time since I was a little girl, real freedom was at my fingertips. It was better than any razor blade or drug. I walked to a bus stop and hopped on. I didn’t look back as the bus took me away from that dreadful place.

  “The bus dropped me off in Mt. Pleasant and I began to walk. It was the middle of the night, but I didn’t know where to go or what to do. That’s when Kayne found me. I was wandering down a dark road in the middle of the night and he almost hit me. He pulled over and actually talked to me like I was a human being, not a washed-up whore. He brought me here and the rest is history.”

  Stryker’s body is vibrating with pent up rage. His hands are clenching and unclenching into fists on his lap. He won’t look at me or touch me. I don’t blame him. I really don’t. I don’t want to touch me either. I stand up and look out my bedroom window. Tears swell in my eyes, my mind is running a million miles an hour. Was it a mistake to tell him? Does he see me as a whore now? Am I that disgusting for letting another man do what he did to me? All these questions flow through my mind and the urge to cut myself is strong. I need to feel something besides this emptiness in my heart.

  Strong arms wrap around my waist and Stryker’s warmth wraps around my heart. I take a deep breath reveling in his heat. I lean against him, my back to his front and together we stand here, both lost in our own heads.

  “I don’t know what to say.” Stryker’s warm breath fans across my neck. “I know what I want to do and that’s kill those fuckers, but I don’t know the words to make this better for you.”

  “Just holding me is perfect. I don’t need words, Stryker. I need to feel something besides the urge to cut.” It chokes my voice with pent up emotions.

  “Can I touch you?”

  “Always. Your touch keeps me grounded. It takes away the urges. It helps me forget.”

  Stryker raises his hand and gently touches my stomach. His caress is light and loving. His palm trails up my stomach, my breathing picks up making my chest heave. A want of desire runs deep in my core. His fingers brush past my aching breasts and stops on my neck.

  I turn in his arms so I can see his face. His long lashes hood his blue eyes with desire and lust. He caresses my face with his big palm. I wrap my arms around his neck, pushing our bodies aga
inst each other. I bring my lips a hairs breath away from his. Stryker’s breathing hitches in his throat and closes the distance between us. The moment our lips touch, my insecurities melt away.

  Stryker pulls me closer. His big, scared hands settle on my face gripping it gently. The moment his tongue enters my mouth his unique flavor makes my body shiver with need. It’s been so long since another man has touched me. It’s the first time I want this, I need him. I need to feel him inside me, owning my body and my soul. My body feels like it’s on fire and only Stryker can douse the flames. A moan escapes my throat being swallowed up by Stryker’s kiss. I can feel his hardness against my stomach and desire snakes its way deep into my core.

  I break the kiss, breathing harshly. “Take me. Own me. Make me yours, please.” I plead with Stryker, looking into his eyes.

  A shadow passes through his eyes and a smile forms on his lips I was just kissing. He releases my face and runs his hands down my sides. I raise my arms and Stryker removes my tank top. His mouth is on my breasts, nipping and sucking. I grip the back of his head, pulling him closer. A low moan rips from my throat as Stryker kneads one breast with his big hand and sucks on the other. He picks me up so we’re eye level. I wrap my legs around his waist. Staring into his eyes, I know I’m making the right decision. I want him like I’ve never wanted another man.

  Stryker swallows hard, “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely. But once we do this, there will be no one else. I don’t want to see a Patch Whore touching you. I don’t want anyone else touching you. You’ll be exclusively mine and I’ll be yours. Can you handle that?”

  “Lil’ Bit, I haven’t touched another woman besides you in almost a year,” Stryker grumbles against my lips.

  My eyes widen in surprise. “What?” I ask pulling back a little. We’re still chest to chest but I need to look at him. Stryker carries me towards my bed and lays me down. I open my legs for him to settle between them. His big body covers mine.